Keep Vampires Away Checklist

There are so many vampire books and films out there now that we need to protect ourselves from them! Have you ever wondered what you needed to do in order to keep vampires away?  Well, here’s my ‘Keep Vampires Away Checklist’ that I’m sure that you’ve been looking for.  This is a comprehensive checklist that will require some purchases and allow you to keep a record of everything that you need to keep those pesky vampires at bay.

• Eat garlic daily. Buy garlic bulbs from your local supermarket and add it to all the food you make (at least once a day).
• Live in a place that has lots of natural daylight, the sunnier the better!
• Don’t hang heavy curtains that block out the light.
• Purchase a few wooden crosses (differs from the crucifix as a cross does NOT have a representation of the crucified Jesus Christ on it). Ask your local priest to bless it for extra protection before hanging them up around your home.
• Don’t forget to wear a cross at all times too.
• Fill up a bottle or two with water and ask your local priest to bless some water for you, thereby turning it in ‘holy water’ and keep it close within arm’s reach.
• Find plant seeds such as mustard and poppy and grains such as oats and millet, or rice and sprinkle them on the ground around your home and the vampire’s obsessive nature (yes, apparently they have OCD) will force the vampire to pick up and/or count every item before going any further.
• Do not invite strangers into your home.
• And finally, have a sharp wooden stake, just in case!

If I’ve missed something off this checklist, please leave a comment so I can improve this checklist and we can all help keep those vampires away!