Build a Snowman Checklist

So it’s time to build a snowman – that chilliest part of the year. Eggnog, warm cider, hot cocoa and yes, of course, cold blustery snow. Who doesn’t love romping in the freezing temps? Fingers cramped and blue. All the while, children laughing, playing. Rudolph running by with a sled full of warm jammies. Snowmen are synonymous with cold weather fun. With this handy guide, we’ll ensure you’re daft at making one, not becoming one. First, you’ll need a few supplies. Read on…

Preparation

• Snow. Obvious, we know. But the most important factor is having the right snow. It must have a little moisture to it so it packs well. Step outside, pick some up, pack it in your hands, if it forms a ball, you’re in business. If it withers away like dust in the wind, well, so is your hope of having fun today.
• Carrot. This is for the nose, for later. Every real snowman has a carrot nose. If you don’t know that, you have no place building a snowman, you know? So before you get started, get to the store and grab a big bag of carrots (you can use most of them for soup, more on that later).
• Peanut Butter Cups. These are the eyes. As long as you’re at the store, get the big ones. Back in the day, those were the only kind – big awesome peanut butter cuppy things with mounds of dark creamy chocolate pie crust and such. Use these wisely.
• Kisses. Not the lips kind, the chocolate ones – with the little foil wrappers and flag about the top screaming rip me open and eat me? Yes, those kisses, from the candy aisle. They’ll be forming the mouth.
• Broom. If you don’t have one you can use a twig or fallen branch. But so long as you’re at the store, buy yourself a broom for goodness sake. Every dignified snowman has his broom, and now you do, too.
• Hat & Scarf (optional). Just a heads-up here: A snowman’s arms are made of dead tree limbs, he absolutely will have no way of keeping the hat and scarf attached to his body during a cold blustery night. You’re welcome to dress him warmly but if his haberdashery flies away, not our fault.
• Sticks. Two solid twigs or sticks, should approximately match in length and girth.
• Corn Cob Pipe. An essential item!
• Gloves. These are for you. Keep your hands nice and warm while you build the snowman.
• Ladder. Now you’re ready to build a snowman you can call your own.

Building the snowman

• Wearing gloves, presumably warm clothes as well, pack a snowball between your hands. Stop when it’s about the size and hardness of a major league baseball or orange. This is the seed from which your new snowman will grow.
• Roll said ball around in the snow while gently packing more snow on top of it. You’ll notice the ball is getting bigger. Keep going.
• Once the ball reaches a weight and size difficult to roll, you’re almost there. Give it one last heave-ho. The ball should be big enough at this point that it requires every ounce of your strength to move. This is now the base of your snowman.
• Pack even more snow around the base – for all the joy he will provide, he deserves a solid one. This will help firmly plant the snowman to your yard.
• Continue packing snow onto the base of the snowman. Be sure to attach snow to the top and all sides – slowly moving your hands around the base to keep it round in shape. Pack generous amounts of new snow to the base. Keep going until the base is very large – the top of the base should be reach at least waist high. Your snowman is coming to life.
• Repeat steps the above rolling steps. The resulting snowball may be heavy to lift. This is now the abdomen of your snowman and must be placed on top of the base. If you struggle, try rolling it up the side of the base until it’s firmly secured atop (this is how Charlie Brown does it). If your snowman is big enough, this takes persistence and patience. You may even break a sweat.
• Pack snow onto the newly secured abdomen while smoothing out any creases. Be sure to keep it round. If the abdomen is disproportionate to the base, add snow where necessary. This is your opportunity to channel your inner Michelangelo – every ball of snow has a snowman inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.
• Roll a third snowball to form the head. If necessary, climb the ladder to attach the head to the snowman. Firmly secure the head in place.
• Attach the items you collected as you see fit.
• You’re done. Continue on to making carrot soup!